It’s a gloomy Saturday morning for me. The day after the “return of the bad girl”. I can’t help thinking where, how it started and who cause me to act this way. All I can remember is I’ve been doing this for how many years, keep doing things all over again, reflecting, having regrets, crying… and yet booom, here I go again.
Last night was terrible. But i don’t know if it equates to the awful experiences I had before, I mean the emotion. I guess before was the worst thing (half dead caused by the most beautiful person whom I wanted to share my life with), but I don’t remember the feelings then. Last night was totally empty, like I wanted to go somewhere else, in a jam-packed room, a busy crowded place where people tend to enjoy life like they don’t have any tomorrow. The music echoes in every wall of the room, and you feel like dancing like a pro. Drinks are everywhere, and spilling it out just to feel like doing it. And everyone is happy, except me. And in the middle of nowhere, I find myself buying a chocolate drink in a local store with a mind floating. Like what they say, chocolates are good for desperate people, but as soon as I emptied mine, damn nothing change.
I’M SO HIGH. Right at this moment. I wanna feel like dancing and dancing and dancing. (on track: Baby It’s You, Jojo)
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...DARN !!! that was outdated. more than two weeks ago. HAHA!
i'm about to start writing and planning my life (again and again and again 10000x1000) but as soon i wanted to write stuffs here, i go back to the sofa and better watch tv shows than reminiscing those shitloads things (sorry on that). it's better for me not to plan things... that might work.
this year was a blast. really. from places i wanted to go (two out of the many), to the boys i wanted to own (betch, haha!) and yeah, the only thing left was me and my silly broken heart. from D - who i thought would be my dreamlover, to A - who never showed up the next day and G - who would marry me unless i loose weight. HAHA. ooohh boys, spare me. but atleast, i wouldn't anymore be daydreaming and building futures with you [[: and atleast, you contributed something in me, you jerk!
I JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPY AND I DON'T WANNA BE LONELY [[: